Shoes shoes shoes

So I promised a post about shoes, and here it is:
I have, like every other female, an adoration to shoes. I don't own all that many, but I like them all the same. I resently bought 2 pars of peggy plaid pump, 1 in yellow and 1 in red. They are so cute. Not "my style" but still very cute. The next par of heels I plan to buy are going to be a everyday type, something I could wear everyday to school and around town. Be able to walk over 6 km each day, type of heel (so not very high). Most of the heels I own are a good 10 cm (4") high. Which in the long road are hard to walk with.
But in all reality I should probably not buy any more and save for an apartment instead... But that's not fun...

Apartment thoughts

So... at some point of time I plan to move out of my mothers house and live on my own, like any other person my age. I'm actually behind in the race to be independent. I like the thought that all the money I get (minus rent) gets to be used on whatever I feel like. For example shoes (in reference to the next post I plan to make). But this post is about some of the thoughts I've got on how I'd decorate an apartment. Well, more like how it'd be set up.
First off I'd like to say that the first apartment I'd end up getting won't be very big... maybe around 30m^2 (square meters). Which is an okay size for ones first here in Denmark. Now... What I've been thinking is that I need lots of shelf space. So I was thinking of covering a wall with shelves.

 One of them could have a table in it, like this one (p.s all of them are from Ikea).

Then, you'd have one of these (and you can add "doors" to each square, if you wanted)










Then you'd have these, but lay them down so that you can put things on top of them.





And last but not least is this cool computer table. It can fit up to a 17" computer. It closes so that you can e.g eat on it without having to move your computer. Smart, right?

How fights can get brutal

Comments: "mother"/"my mother"/"mom"/"that woman" - whatever YOU call your mother has nothing to do with me. If I refer to her as something (e.g mother) and not as something else (e.g my mother/mom), that is my business, not yours. And no, I do not call her mother to her face, she is called "mom".

The day started off like normal. I'm told what to do and I do it. But then my mother leaves to see a movie and my sister "takes" the parenting position. First off, I won't mind that she does it, if she was good at it! Secondly, I'm older! Why does she think she can take that position, just because mother is out?

So now SHE is telling ME what to do! SHE has NO right to tell me what to do. Mother told me what to do and I did as mother said. SHE can't ADD on to what mother told me to do!

Mother told us not to be on the computer or watch tv until what we agreed upon was done (aka I was told to clean the kitchen). Anywho... Mother leaves, sister goes on computer (she is not done what was asked of her yet) and tells me I'm not done, so I'm not allowed to watch tv,

I ask her: "What am I missing?". And she lists a long list of things, that I had done, just not up to HER standers. They are however up to my mothers. I tell her she has got to be kidding me! And then ignore everything she says (childish, I know... but it works the best). She gets angry! Starts yelling at me about something to do with yesterday... I didn't go out drinking with my friends, and that apparently ruined her plans. So she is angry...

She then tells me to go to my room. WTF? She tells me because her plans were ruined I have to stay in my room all day, so that she can have the house to herself. WTF? How is any of this MY problem? Of course, I say NO! And she gets even more angry. She then tries to take my key (to my door) and I shove her away. She now so angry that her face is red, HITS ME! Punches me. Repetitively. And I push her away, which does nothing because her anger has to come out, and it's coming out in punches on me!

Mother is still at the movies and I now have a shitload of bruises... and one scratch mark. About an hour before mother comes home, she calls her. And tells her I started it. That I hit her first...

Oh yay, did I remember to tell you that she hates the fact that I'm alive? And she wishes that I stayed with my father, so mother and her would have a nice life here alone. She wishes that I didn't have money, friends, things or a family... To say those things to a person, who you have no idea what's going on with. You have NO right to say such things! I've considered suicide in the past, and saying such things aren't fun to hear.

Now I have no idea what to do... about my sister... or my relationship with my mother...

Time to finish my secondary schooling

Had to get up a little earlier than I've been doing the last couple of days.. had to get up at 9... On the way to the school I bought my grandmothers Christmas gift. Oh Ya! Last year when I was supposed to do it, I made the wrong choice and cheated. Got caught and have to do it again this year. Not the worst in the world, if you go back 20 years, I would have had to drop out of school and do that year again. That would not have been fun.

So this year I plan to do everything as I should with no cheating and with great planning. The theme I have chosen for the paper this year is Caligula (a Cesar in the roman empire, year 37-41). He is also known as the mad ruler, because he was not quite "there" the last couple of years in his reign.

Anyway, have to pick up my shoes (there are at the post office), and have to make a schedule for my paper. Good Luck!

My dysfunctional family

My family relations are really bad. Not just me being super unsocial, but because after my father got remarried every other child (we are 4 in all) stopped contact with him. I haven't because I like him and don't really mind his new wife. She's different... I'll try not be be racist, but we (my family) are all white, sorry Caucasian. And my fathers wife is Indian (Amercian-Indian, not India-Indian). I'm not holding that against her, but her family is so... Every stereotyping you think of when you think of Indians, her family hits them. I don't know how that happens, but hers did. Now.. we are not used to "non-Caucasian" family types. We are your average family. 1 mother, 1 father, 1 boy and 2,5 girls (1,5 is for us twins... we are the "youngest", even though I'm never treated like the youngest, that is 100% my sisters "duty").

My mom is a chef, my dad is a customs officer. My big sister is a chef, my big brother is in the military... See a pattern? haha... My dad is born on a farm and has two other siblings, as does my mother (he has 2 brothers, she has 2 sisters). They meet in a foreign country... She moved to his country shortly after and lived with his ex for about a month. Sounds like I'm lying, right? But you just can't make this shit up.

They divorced about 8 years ago (I was 13.., no.. 12?). Oh my, did you guess my age?  haha.

Anywho. After they divorced 4 of the 6 family members went to my mothers country of origin. Denmark. My big brother didn't come at the time ONLY because he was in 12th grade. And Denmark only goes to 9. You then go to a secondary school, if thats what you want to do. You can also do 10th, but you don't have to. And then there are trade schools and technical schools and such. I went and did both 10th and secondary school. Now moving on to a trade school. Anywho...

My big brother, big sister and twin sister DO NOT speak to my father. I have no idea why. I've heard the reasons, I don't believe the reasons... but that is not up for discussion. Or so I've been told.

My sister says she was hit by my dads wife. I was there, my dad was there, his wife was there. Nobody remembers her being hit. Only her. Now, I'm not saying it didn't happen, I'm saying I don't believe it was such a big thing, that she is making it out to be.

Weight?

My weight has always been an issue for me. Like so many other people out there, I'm unhappy about the way I look and weigh. I'm not always unhappy about it. Sometimes I love the way I look. Sometimes I think I look hot, sexy, interesting, different, cool, neat, nice, beautiful, calm, clean... and so on. But every once in a while I do something or hear something and think, wow I'm gross.
Now... I know I'm not thin, never really have been, but I've also not considered myself fat. I'm overweight, but not fat... It's weird. My BMI tells me I'm overweight (actually it says I'm fucking fat...).
I follow other peoples blogs. Some of the ones I follow are about people losing weight. And some of those people are pro-ana. I'm clearly not, with my rolls of fat... but some of them are. I've wondered what I would look like if I was thin. Not a happy thought process (because you always end up back to the present and I'm not thin...). I'm going to stop my constant complaining now...
I live at home and have never made supper for only me. I always make it for me and someone (my sister or mother). So what I make isn't always healthy. I don't want to start buying healthy stuff because then they will comment on it. I very much dislike it when they comment on something I change. Especially when I'm self conscious of it. What should I do?

An education in the horizon

I'm starting an education as a cook come January. Yay? Anwho.. Here's the plan for the end of 2011 and all of 2012:

• Finish my STX (secondary education), which I'll be done as soon as I write this essay here in December.
• Start cook education (9th January)
  
• Go ice skating with friends (2nd or 3rd week in January)
  
• Have birthday party (18th February)
  
• Apply for Ship-masters education (15th March)
  
• Finish first part of cooks education (June)
• Acceptance (or not) to Ship-masters education (July)
• Start or continue chefs education...
• Have fun!

Now doesn't that sound like a plan :P