So I'm not really supposed to talk about my family on this blog, not because they or anybody I know reads it, but because I feel like if I say something "wrong" it'll come back to bite me in the ass. But since this topic is related to me (emotions). What I mean is, if she (my sister) is unhappy, it "rubs" off on me.
So what's going on with her is she's unhappy. She's annoyed by the fact that she isn't going anywhere right now. She's between jobs and gets financial support from the government. But in return (for the support) she has to go to these "classes" everyday. She hates them. The people who work there, the "students" and the whole concept.
What bugs me about her right now is that she's taking it out on us (mother and I). She gets mad about the littlest things and spends most of her time in her room. She isn't social, which is one of those things you would normally categorize her as. She's: nice, friendly, social, has leadership qualities.... and so on. But now, as said, she spends her time in her room.
How this affects me most is the constant negative things being said around me. People at school complain about other students and now at the house, she complains about mother and mother complains about her... I'm not sure how much more of this I can live with. I feel like I'm going to explode on somebody... then I'll have to say sorry and people wouldn't act the same around me again. So that is not an option. But I also hate confronting people. It's not something I do very often, because I don't ever get to the point where I'd have to say sorry or confront people. I'm nice like that ^^
So what do I do? Do I suck it up and confront them or do I wait it out? If I suck it up, do I talk to her or to both of them at the same time? Do I also confront my issues on confrontation?
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Friday, February 10, 2012
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
My dysfunctional family
My family relations are really bad. Not just me being super unsocial, but because after my father got remarried every other child (we are 4 in all) stopped contact with him. I haven't because I like him and don't really mind his new wife. She's different... I'll try not be be racist, but we (my family) are all white, sorry Caucasian. And my fathers wife is Indian (Amercian-Indian, not India-Indian). I'm not holding that against her, but her family is so... Every stereotyping you think of when you think of Indians, her family hits them. I don't know how that happens, but hers did. Now.. we are not used to "non-Caucasian" family types. We are your average family. 1 mother, 1 father, 1 boy and 2,5 girls (1,5 is for us twins... we are the "youngest", even though I'm never treated like the youngest, that is 100% my sisters "duty").
My mom is a chef, my dad is a customs officer. My big sister is a chef, my big brother is in the military... See a pattern? haha... My dad is born on a farm and has two other siblings, as does my mother (he has 2 brothers, she has 2 sisters). They meet in a foreign country... She moved to his country shortly after and lived with his ex for about a month. Sounds like I'm lying, right? But you just can't make this shit up.
They divorced about 8 years ago (I was 13.., no.. 12?). Oh my, did you guess my age? haha.
Anywho. After they divorced 4 of the 6 family members went to my mothers country of origin. Denmark. My big brother didn't come at the time ONLY because he was in 12th grade. And Denmark only goes to 9. You then go to a secondary school, if thats what you want to do. You can also do 10th, but you don't have to. And then there are trade schools and technical schools and such. I went and did both 10th and secondary school. Now moving on to a trade school. Anywho...
My big brother, big sister and twin sister DO NOT speak to my father. I have no idea why. I've heard the reasons, I don't believe the reasons... but that is not up for discussion. Or so I've been told.
My sister says she was hit by my dads wife. I was there, my dad was there, his wife was there. Nobody remembers her being hit. Only her. Now, I'm not saying it didn't happen, I'm saying I don't believe it was such a big thing, that she is making it out to be.
My mom is a chef, my dad is a customs officer. My big sister is a chef, my big brother is in the military... See a pattern? haha... My dad is born on a farm and has two other siblings, as does my mother (he has 2 brothers, she has 2 sisters). They meet in a foreign country... She moved to his country shortly after and lived with his ex for about a month. Sounds like I'm lying, right? But you just can't make this shit up.
They divorced about 8 years ago (I was 13.., no.. 12?). Oh my, did you guess my age? haha.
Anywho. After they divorced 4 of the 6 family members went to my mothers country of origin. Denmark. My big brother didn't come at the time ONLY because he was in 12th grade. And Denmark only goes to 9. You then go to a secondary school, if thats what you want to do. You can also do 10th, but you don't have to. And then there are trade schools and technical schools and such. I went and did both 10th and secondary school. Now moving on to a trade school. Anywho...
My big brother, big sister and twin sister DO NOT speak to my father. I have no idea why. I've heard the reasons, I don't believe the reasons... but that is not up for discussion. Or so I've been told.
My sister says she was hit by my dads wife. I was there, my dad was there, his wife was there. Nobody remembers her being hit. Only her. Now, I'm not saying it didn't happen, I'm saying I don't believe it was such a big thing, that she is making it out to be.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
To blog or not to blog...
That should be the question... The biggest problem with blogging, is that I have no idea what to blog about. So I've decided not to care and write whatever I want with no subject, theme, writing style or other matter. The posts will just be me talking to... you? ...myself? ...the future me? ...the past/current me's that are in the present you's? Hmmm... to philosophical? I think so too... So this post will be about the movie Black Swan.
Now... you haven't traveled back in time, I saw the movie a while ago and re-saw it today. When it first came out it didn't look like a good movie. Or not a movie that suited my tastes. But my sister and mother both went and saw it in theaters though. They both said it was weird and creepy (mostly the part where she pulls off her on fingernail). After their comments I decided to watch it. Still not a movie I would have seen, but not bad. It's more psychological than anything else.
For those who haven't seen it, it's about a girl who gets the role of the black/white swan in the ballet story "the black swan" -I think....- And she takes the role way too seriously and over personalizes it. She makes the story her life. Her life becomes the story.
It really is a good psychological story for any psych majors out there. The reason I've seen it twice is because my friend wanted to see it (and she can't stand "scary" movies), so we watched it together.
It's an interesting plot. I understood it. Not all will, but it's not hard to if you look deep enough. ....crap... I can't remember the reason to why I started this post... damn...
Now... you haven't traveled back in time, I saw the movie a while ago and re-saw it today. When it first came out it didn't look like a good movie. Or not a movie that suited my tastes. But my sister and mother both went and saw it in theaters though. They both said it was weird and creepy (mostly the part where she pulls off her on fingernail). After their comments I decided to watch it. Still not a movie I would have seen, but not bad. It's more psychological than anything else.
For those who haven't seen it, it's about a girl who gets the role of the black/white swan in the ballet story "the black swan" -I think....- And she takes the role way too seriously and over personalizes it. She makes the story her life. Her life becomes the story.
It really is a good psychological story for any psych majors out there. The reason I've seen it twice is because my friend wanted to see it (and she can't stand "scary" movies), so we watched it together.
It's an interesting plot. I understood it. Not all will, but it's not hard to if you look deep enough. ....crap... I can't remember the reason to why I started this post... damn...
Monday, October 17, 2011
How thought can destroy your life
Lately I've had self destructive thoughts. E.g thoughts on cutting (ones self), drinking til I can't remember, killing myself, so on. Now don't get me wrong, I have actually done any of these things, they are just on my mind.
Why or how they came to be is beyond me... I've never been depressed, or not really. I've had my lows like every other human being at my age (1991). Yet the thoughts came, if I really want to pin-point them out, they all come from the same trigger... my mother. She means the world to me, but like any other mother, she doesn't know where to stop. The first and only time where I seriously considered suicide was after my mother said some things that cut way deeper than I thought they could and I don't think my mom knew it would affect me. I don't even know if she knows that I have had those thoughts and that she was the trigger.
Feeling are something I have learned not to express, because if you do, they get used against you (not my parents, but my siblings are the trigger this time). I can't believe how different we 4 are. I'm not sure if you would consider me the middle child or not, but I feel like I am. My twin sister is the youngest. She has always been the baby of the family and has also grown up spoiled (like every other baby). My big sister is just that. The first to do everything, the oldest, the "wisest"... And then we have my big brother, who in all theory is the middle child (big sister, big brother, me, twin sister - the children in age, from oldest to youngest). I'm really not sure if you would call him the middle child because even if he was, he is the only boy. That is a title in and of itself. A middle child is someone others easily forget. Someone that has no "real" role in the family. And I believe myself to be that person. Someone that doesn't have to be there and everything still works out. The only thing I feel I am in the family is dad's little girl. We get along, because 1 I have the patience of an angel and 2 everybody else likes mom more. (I just noticed this became a short biography of my family...) Being the middle child has it ups and downs. My sister plays with me if nobody else is around - an up. I get alone time - an up. I learned patience - an up. I was bored - a down. When I was sad nobody noticed - a down...
My mother, sister and I moved to another country without my dad, brother and big sister. My father is now remarried and my mother is a lesbian (she is dating a woman from the country we left). None of by siblings keep in contact with my father, I do thou. His wife is different from what we know... It's like if you're given chicken every day and then one day you're given pork, you'd be all, what the fuck is this? It's so different you deny it. You think, life was good with chicken, why the sudden change to pork? What is pork? Does pork taste like chicken? And so on...
Why or how they came to be is beyond me... I've never been depressed, or not really. I've had my lows like every other human being at my age (1991). Yet the thoughts came, if I really want to pin-point them out, they all come from the same trigger... my mother. She means the world to me, but like any other mother, she doesn't know where to stop. The first and only time where I seriously considered suicide was after my mother said some things that cut way deeper than I thought they could and I don't think my mom knew it would affect me. I don't even know if she knows that I have had those thoughts and that she was the trigger.
Feeling are something I have learned not to express, because if you do, they get used against you (not my parents, but my siblings are the trigger this time). I can't believe how different we 4 are. I'm not sure if you would consider me the middle child or not, but I feel like I am. My twin sister is the youngest. She has always been the baby of the family and has also grown up spoiled (like every other baby). My big sister is just that. The first to do everything, the oldest, the "wisest"... And then we have my big brother, who in all theory is the middle child (big sister, big brother, me, twin sister - the children in age, from oldest to youngest). I'm really not sure if you would call him the middle child because even if he was, he is the only boy. That is a title in and of itself. A middle child is someone others easily forget. Someone that has no "real" role in the family. And I believe myself to be that person. Someone that doesn't have to be there and everything still works out. The only thing I feel I am in the family is dad's little girl. We get along, because 1 I have the patience of an angel and 2 everybody else likes mom more. (I just noticed this became a short biography of my family...) Being the middle child has it ups and downs. My sister plays with me if nobody else is around - an up. I get alone time - an up. I learned patience - an up. I was bored - a down. When I was sad nobody noticed - a down...
My mother, sister and I moved to another country without my dad, brother and big sister. My father is now remarried and my mother is a lesbian (she is dating a woman from the country we left). None of by siblings keep in contact with my father, I do thou. His wife is different from what we know... It's like if you're given chicken every day and then one day you're given pork, you'd be all, what the fuck is this? It's so different you deny it. You think, life was good with chicken, why the sudden change to pork? What is pork? Does pork taste like chicken? And so on...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)